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How to Kill Stupid Monsters
TheGiver17
Introduction:: Hi my name is Leafwind and I'm going to tell you how to kill those stupid monsters so that YOU can take their MONEY and use it to buy some shit. All you need to do is follow these simple instructions and you will soon find yourself a swords skill level admired by everyone in Aegis. Except your girlfriend. She probably   won't like it.:: Chapter 1: The Zombie:: The Zombie, a stupid and brainless creature, is the easiest mob to kill.    All you have to do is hit it with your wooden, stone, metal, or extremely precious diamond sword and smear its dirty blood all over it! :: Chapter 2: The Spider:: The Spider is a stupid little noob that can climb walls and jump on you from a million  feet away, but all you really have to do is run circles around it so it can't jump at you. Also you should never stop hitting it because if you do, then it will be able to lunge at you.:: :: Chapter 3: The Skeleton:: The skeleton is another really stupidly annoying mob that fires arrows at you. The method that I use to kill it is to run circles around it swinging like a madman. This is effective but can be tricky if there are multiple skeletons. Then it is best to sidestep the skeleton(s) avoiding their arrows.   :: :: Chapter 4: The Creeper:: The Creeper is easily THE MOST ANNOYING MONSTER IN MINECRAFT and it is rightfully named "The Exploding P***s" The method for killing a creeper is to run up to it swing your sword and run away. Doing this multiple times will eventual annoy it so much that it will just die. For advanced monster hunters you may be able to swing at the creeper twice before running. This is achieved by hitting it right as you are running backwards out of its range. There is also a super-charged version of the creeper that appears when they are hit by lightning. If you see one... run the HELL away from it! :: :: Chapter 5: The Slime:: Yeah sure slimes can be cute, but not when they are massive mutha f***in tree climbing slimes! If you EVER see a giant slime in a tree run away or at least tell your friend that giant slimes drop diamonds 'cause then you'll actually get something out of it. ... his stuff! :D :: :: Conclusion:: So I hope you enjoyed this educational and entertaining book, because I sure did!