2420
Krink's dream.
GuhdarN
:: :: I am dazed by this dream. I'm writing now just minutes after I awakened by a huge bang on the lowest floor, probably the door... :: After a while when I looked out to see where the moon was from my window I saw someone. Not far away from my neighbor's house and his face were hidden by his hood. He glared at me, the seconds felt like minutes... Eventually he turned and disappeared. :: :: Last night I had a dream. A nightmare... About my father. :: :: It was just like when it happened, when I killed him. I had no clue that it was a dream. But I saw the dream outside my mind, as if I was an observer who was not able to speak words. It was as if I were a spirit... I could see myself awakened by the screams of my defenseless brother in the dining room. I was able to follow myself; I saw how I was thinking how I would put a stop to this. :: I observed in my dream when I took a large piece of wood from the fireplace, how I thought that was the best idea to end this beatings by our father. :: :: I did not say a word, though it looked like the real me saw how I watched the event. It felt like the physical me was looking for eye contact with my "spiritual me and when he did get eye contact with me, he nodded with it also looked like he grinned a bit. :: :: I was standing in the doorway when I watch this event that happened many decades ago. I had repressed it, also my age starts to play with my memory, I forget things easily now, but now after this dream I remember it as if it happened just some just a few days ago. I could see myself beating him in the back of his head... Repeatedly, he did not even see who was hitting him. I kept hitting my own father with the wood even when he was lying down lifeless. until my brother shouted that I would stop with verge of tears, I saw my brother in shock. :: :: As I remember my father was a very large orc, nearly four heads longer and wider than me by that time. And that he did not care about no one except himself.  Nonetheless after an entire childhood with beating... And worse. Maybe he was worth such a death? In my dream I saw myself say "It has now been done, at last" with a loud voice. He turned to my spiritual me and gave me a look, a look that was peaceful, eyes that smiled. I felt that I recognized those eyes, as if it was a different person, as if it was not me..? :: :: While I wrote the last sentence my candle was blown out by itself, I shivered,  it felt as if my spine was as cold as a breeze from the repossessed Snowy Fields.