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In Laurelin: Journal of Rhisereld
Rhisereld
At first I was just focused on leaving as quietly as possible. As I'm sure you remember, that went to dust pretty quickly. I was forced to face you, and our conversation left me just as torn as you were. I was so confused, almost split in two. I'm half me and half you, Alethion. I had to get out. I couldn't bear to face you every day, even at the polite distance we kept from each other. I couldn't bear knowing that you'd given your love to another. I couldn't bear the begging for forgiveness that I can't give. :: The way you held your hand out for mine. ::The promises you made, ones I couldn't trust. ::I had to get away from that. ::Ironically, it was these very same things that kept me tied to the Isles and you. I was hurting you, and I could see that. I watched you slowly grow more and more dejected, each time I moved away you were overcome by grief inside. You hid it well, but not well enough. You have no idea how much I wanted to comfort you. I just wanted to hold you tight. That's who I am. Empathy is a part of me. ::But I knew what you had done was wrong. What happened... there's nothing stopping it from happening again. This wasn't the first time it had happened. It was going to happen again and again. So I had to force myself to abandon my empathy and leave you there, if only to end this cycle of sin and repent. Akorta said that you were playing with my empathy, to convince me to come back. I can't believe, I won't believe that you would do anything like that. Your tears are real.   So now I have found refuge in Laurelin. Uprooting yourself from your home is not the greatest feeling. I am alone here, danger lurks in every hooded stranger. Avoiding the people that you love is heartbreaking. Indescribably difficult. And the worst thing? ::I feel so free.